If only I knew…

Dear Svetlana,

I bring you Good Tidings to your 2006…


Please don’t rush. Please do not go into hospital for this dreaded operation. “C” monster is not the end of the world or road. Wait. Listen. Seek.

There is a way for you to be healthy, strong, energetic and happy woman and mother without cutting out a valuable organ. Just wait. Just let your mum be your mum – a driven woman who is able to turn the planets and time itself if she needs to. Listen and wait.

My most important advise to you, wait and seek.

Now, 10 years later, 7 of them were sheer agony and despair, I know there was another way. There was a way to save you from the operation. There was a way to avoid all this pain, frustration, depression, self-loathing and hatred…

My advise to you in 2006: never stop. Never give in to something you do not feel right about. Ask questions. Keep asking questions until you get the answer that resonates with your whole being…

Now, 10 years later, I regret nothing as much as I do the decision to go on with the treatment. But then again, nobody could help me make another one.

If only I had a chance to meet my 2006-self… if only…


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