Have you ever tried to write a blog post with tears streaming down your face?
Have you ever tried writing anything feeling extremely sorry for yourself?
How about being angry at the whole world?
How about being furious, helpless, powerless in the face of your own pain, sorrow, sorriness, pity, exhaustion, lack of love, light and laugh?
Have you ever?
I have. Actually, I’ve done it just now. I’ve started this post with tears streaming down my face, being angry at the whole wide world, banging on the keyboard to my poor broken heart content.
What came out? This text. This text came out plus many more from my past and from my present. (I found several similar pearls in the document folders on my hard drive).
Obviously, I’ve been to this dark and wet place before, many times. Obviously, I’ve done this all before. I’ve hurt and I’ve tried to put it into words as this is the only solution for me. I’ve ached and I’ve tried to spell it all out. I’ve cried and I’ve tried to make sense of the situation, of the incident, of the world… I’ve tried and I’ve failed again and again.
My tears have dried out. My hurt became a numb but ever-present ache. My sense of loss and confusion is turning into indifference and anger… The usual process of healing have started…
This is my recipe
This is my remedy