My recent stunt with online dating prompted me to write a bit more on the subject. Dating that is. Love. Relationships.
Being single for most of my life I do not know much about any of these aspects of interpersonal interaction. However, I do have heaps of experience in trying to find a relationship, attempting to fall in love, experimenting with online dating and forsaking all of the above every single time.
What I want to share with my readers are my thoughts and accumulated findings on some of the ‘corner-stones’ of relationships.
What are we looking for in a potential partner? Why? How successful? Do we need a life-partner, soul-mate, other half? Or is it all a big lie? Are we aiming at Prince Charming? Or Prince Charming is something from Shrek?
- Are we looking for an ‘ideal man’? If so, do they exist?
Are we? Are we really? What about ‘ideal is different for every single person’? Or even ‘be careful of what you wish for’?
Anyhow, I’d like to think that by the age of 30 or may be 40 we realize that there are no ideal of anything. Moreover, we realize that we DO NOT WANT an ideal, a perfection. We want REAL. We want a person. We want a connection. We want a match. We are looking for another uneven, twisted, chipped and healed over piece of the jigsaw puzzle that would FIT perfectly with our own.
Tall, dark and handsome – is the catch-cry of teens and early 20s. With age comes experience. With experience come lessons. With lessons come conclusions. With conclusion come different standards and completely different taste. Hopefully, that is.
One of my girlfriend said to me one day ‘we are not perfect. How can we possibly expect our partners to be perfect’. I wanted to object there and then. I wanted to give her a whole big speech on how we constantly develop and grow, on how we can achieve anything and everything, on how perfect women are getting with age… However, I decided that I love her more than being ‘right’. Only later I came to the similar conclusion, with a twist on an angle though.
Yes, we are not perfect and we should not look for perfection (it’s hard job to satisfy perfection). However, we SHOULD NOT settle for second or even third best. We should look for OUR PERSON, for THE RIGHT FIT.
- look for features not for outside package
- look for connection rather than a picture
- look for emotions, sensations, feelings
- look for understanding, respect, appreciation
- look for similar values
- look for similar interest
- LOOK FOR YOUR PERSON
Keep searching…
Svetlana Tishchenko 