First crushes are many

Do you know Pushkin? A famous Russian poet? Well, one of his friends (female) said something like this about him: poet absolutely has to be in love all the time. Otherwise, how can he be a poet…

I am not a poet (not just a poet) but I am Gemini))). Yeah, I blame everything on star constellation of my birth. So, I am not a poet, but I do have have crushes…

First Crush was dreamy. It is dreamy because I do not actually remember it. My mum told me about it. I was 2. He was 3. His name was Eugene. He was my neighbour. It was summer. What can I add?

The only thing I do remember is that I had a doll, my first and only male doll named Eugene. Mum says I named it after this boy. Our paths never crossed again…


I was 5. He was Troubadour in a play about Princess and her love. He was… Well, he was to become my biggest and my longest crush of all. He went on to become the best d’Artagnan in the movie history (in my subjective opinion)


My d’Artagnan is much older now. He has grandkids and grey hair. But I still love him in all his movies. He can do no wrong by me… ever…

I had many crushes after that. I had a lot and then none at all. There were years when I felt frozen and submersed in time and thought I’d have no feelings ever again.

Until one day at work I saw him… He was my remedy. He was my savior. I am grateful to him for bringing me back to life. Nothing ever happened. He was to be married. I was still married. However, I am so happy for meeting him when I did. He made me see I was still alive and breathing. I was still a woman. I could fall in love. I could want something. I could desire…

I’ve had crushes before that and since then. I never acted on any of them. It would be stupid, silly, inappropriate and pointless as the passing time has shown. However, every single crush ‘was good for me’. It brought something new or something excited in me and into my life: poetry, prose, emotions, dreams, hopes, adrenaline… you name it

Crush away, it’s good for you. And you know what? Every single crush is the FIRST)))

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