Dear Diary,

 

Today is DAY 12 of my writing challenge and one of my lists suggests I write ‘something you always think ‘what if’ about’.

 

What can I say

‘What If’ is the biggest trap

It is so big, deep, barbed and dangerous it can cause depression. I know I have been there.

Being a very imaginative person I constantly think and re-think numerous scenarios of practically every situation in my life. I can’t fall asleep without doing so.

We all have been guilty of this one time or another, haven’t we?

–          What if I said this instead of that

–          What if I did this

–          What if I stayed/left

–          What if I married this guy

Gosh, there are millions, gazillions of such loops and points in our lives where we would regret, rethink, re-evaluate…

However, my advice to all of you STOP

It is not worth it.

If we made this decision and not that, there was a reason. If we left this person behind, it just might be for the best.

Regret is the killer joy

There is no point to regret any decision post factum. There is just no point. Life is too short to make step backwards all the time.

You learn the hard way

I am saying all these wise things to you as much as to myself.

I learnt my lessons the hard way. There were so many times in my life that I felt ‘what if’ about things, people and situations. There were a few times where I actually worked hard on fixing a situation, on creating ‘take two’.

What happened? Nothing. Nothing good that is. The situation turned out worse the second time around. It means: if it happened this way, leave it be.

You can regret to the end of your days that something happened the way it did. But what about other party? Do they regret it? If faced with ‘take two’ would they go along or hide away? If tables were reversed, would they do the same for you (make a huge leap backwards to re-do)

I am sorry to disappoint you, but no. Nobody thinks the same way. Nobody feels the same way. Thus, stop punishing yourself and driving yourself crazy with all sorts of ‘what if’

Let it go. It is the past.

 

‘What if’ it all stayed in the past?