Today’s challenge from Blogging University is to ‘tag a post’. To choose a post that resonated with you, to write your own and to tag the author…
Every day I read tens of amazing, witty, interesting and insightful posts from the bloggers I follow and find by accident or by search terms on WordPress (I mostly use ‘books’, ‘reading’, book review’, ‘love’, ‘parenthood’, ‘travel’…).
One day I happened by Banter Republic and his post How To Be Sorry.
First thing I noticed was the amazing memes. Every blog post had a graphic story together with the written one. Did I mention amazing memes?
And of course, the post itself. The subject is very interesting – the essence of being sorry and the ultimate truth of apology. In his post, the author provides reader with various scenarios and reasons why he thinks ‘we can never be truly sorry’. I tend to agree.
Ever since I was little I hate to apologise. I hate it with passion. For one, I despise a person who is making me to apologise because they are playing power game. When you are a little kid, everyone is more powerful than you. Even when you do do something naughty or wrong, to apologise is a torture.
When I grew up I learnt to say ‘excuse me’ and ‘I’m sorry’ without second thought. Being bi-lingual is sooo much easier to say ‘sorry’ in English. Also, I’ve notices (when I came to live in Australia) people using ‘how are you’s’ and ‘excuse me’ anywhere and everywhere without thinking twice. Without feeling it, more like it.
Then, I survived hell of a marriage and learnt the hard way that no matter how passionately you want to prove that you are innocent you are not going to be believed. So, why bother.
For me, real apology is in the actions. If person changes their behaviour. If they learn from their actions – it is much better than ‘I am sorry’.
‘I am sorry’ is a poster. On one hand it is the poster for the guilty party – I said to. So that’s it. Done. Finish. Move on. On the other hand, it is the poster for the ‘right’ party – you’ve done me wrong. Now you must apologise. Otherwise, I will feel 1-2-3 and/or do 1-2-3 until you apologise.
‘I am sorry’ is a spell. If anyone made you feel guilty, they have ‘magic’ power over you. Why give them such a power? Really?
So, are we ever really truly sorry? Do we need to be?